Friday, February 3, 2012


Art ... Heart ...Apart

The common denominator in these 3 little words is, of course, the word 'art'.

How many times have we been convinced we aren't good enough for something or good enough at something because of one small action or word.

I have a story that I didn't realize was even a part of my life until I had 2+ years to sit quietly in Virginia and explore the part of me that enjoys art.

I was learning all about blogland and one of the very first blogs I visited was Kelly Rae Roberts Kelly and hearing about her journey made me dig deep and really think about what was holding me back from jumping into the world of art.  My art.
Normally I am a 'jumper'...always have been always will be. Except when it comes to art.
Then I would hedge and justify and dream and feel frustrated.
Everyone is artistic in different ways.  I would hear people say how great my altered art was or a canvas I had done or a craft I had created and yet...and yet...I never felt it was good enough.

The old saying we are our own worst critic is so true but, when you use that criticism to stifle something that is as important to you as breath itself it becomes a problem.

When I was about 14 years old a teacher of mine (unbeknownst to me) had entered an art piece of mine in a contest of some sort.  One day a man in a suit carrying a briefcase and driving a new car came barrelling into our farmyard.  I remember it so clearly because it wasn't everyday we had 'visitors'.

He sat with my parents and from the bits and bobs I gathered (from the other room) it was about an art school.  The conversation wasn't long nor was I ever asked to be a part of it so when he left I was curious.  All I was told was that he was from an art school and thought my art was good enough for me to attend said school.  They refused.  No other explanation. 

From that day forward I thought my art wasn't good enough.  Over the many years since then I have always enjoyed but, knowingly have always put up road blocks when it came to lessons or exploring new mediums ... as much as I would crave it sometimes I never allowed myself to 'jump' in.

That day in Virginia when I had my 'aha' moment I realized that it wasn't my art that wasn't good enough, it was the fact that my parents didn't have the money and they certainly weren't prepared to let their little girl galavant across the country for 'art'.
What a simple but, so profound.

Since that day, I have been re-living all of the art feelings I haven't allowed myself to feel.  The art in my heart will no longer be apart from the essence of who I am.

It is never too late for a self discovery and I feel liberated every time I think about creating something now.  I feel like I have an entire world to explore again and this time I will do it knowing that no matter what I create or attempt to create, it will be OK.  It is MY art and it is as good as I perceive it to be.

Always remember that if it comes from your heart it is art ... in any form or medium. Never keep the art in your heart apart from the essence of who you are.  Create art.  You deserve to. 


  1. A thoughtful post. So many of us struggle with our art and being good enough. At 68 I still fight that negative voice. Since I don't do 2D work but instead design and make girls clothing I've always been afraid to call it art, but rcently an aha moment brought me to the realization that what I create is an expression of my voice and therefore is my art. Whew!!! Better late than never.Thanks for sharing your story. Its so nice to not feel lonely in the struggle.

  2. Hi Ellie...better late than never is a good thing!! Thank YOU for sharing.

  3. TY for taking the time to read my thoughts ... really appreciate it. Have a great weekend!!

  4. Hi! I found your blog via Kind over Matter's meet and greet. Thank you for sharing this post. It has really "struck a chord" with me. For the past year, (since I retired from my job) I have been dabbling in all sorts of creative things, mostly knitting and crocheting. But since the new year, I have been taking online art classes and this creativity has been spilling out. Your post reminded me that as a young girl I was enamored with art supplies and always begged to take an Art Class. But my mother was too practical for that. But still I was always drawing, embroidering on my jeans, sneaking my dad's paint and brushes, pencils and pens. Now 40 years later I am free to do whatever I want. Thanks for jogging my memory, that the Art has always been in me - just waiting for the right time.